Interview

I recently conducted an interview with a parent who has a child with a disability, specifically down syndrome. I have included an essay I wrote that demonstrates insight I have gained from meeting with this parent:

As a future teacher of young children, I am dedicated to understanding and meeting the needs of all children in my classroom. Through my studies, I have gained an understanding of the needs of families of young children with and without disabilities, capacity to work with families from diverse backgrounds, and skill in supporting family involvement in early education. I hold the belief that building partnerships and establishing open communication with a child’s parents and family is crucial. Furthermore, a child’s development is directly influenced by parental involvement in education. Parents are a wonderful resource that can provide teachers information about the needs of the children in their classroom.

As, I continue my studies to become an educator I feel it is vital that I possess the skills, knowledge, and motivation to help me build strong partnerships with the parents and families of the children in my classroom. I must be able to communicate any concerns and ask appropriate questions of the parents, so that in return, I am able to provide the child and family proper support. I recently designed an interview for parents and families of children with disabilities that included questions to help me better understand the scope of the family’s situation and to better meet the needs of all members involved. I tested out the interview I created, by meeting with a mother of child who has Down syndrome. This compassionate and caring mother shared her times of joy, despair, hope, and love that she has experienced, while raising a child that has a disability. Through this interview, I gained an understanding of a parent’s needs, goals, and desires for their child’s education, regardless if their child has a disability or not.

I opened the interview by asking the mother to simply tell me about her son: what are your child’s strengths and interests, what is most important to your child. She began by sharing, “My son XXXX is 14 years old and an 8^th grader at XXXXX junior high school. He is one of four children and has a twin sister who is also in 8^th grade but attends XXXX”. XXXX’s mother discussed how social her son is, “XXXX absolutely loves people, no matter who you are or where you come from. He makes friends instantly and has great verbal skills”. I also learned that XXXX loves sports, not to play, but to coach. He helped as an assistant coach for the junior high school’s football and basketball team. XXXX’s family is most important to him and he has unique and special bond with his much older brother, XXXX. XXXX’s mother finished the question by saying, “Oh and yes, one more thing, XXXX has Down syndrome”. I was touched by this response, how raw and real a mother’s love is for a child no matter what the circumstances may be. She defined XXXX by who he is as a person; Down syndrome is not who her child is, but is a part of him.

Next, we went on to discuss family life and how having a child with a disability affects a family. I shared with XXXX’s mother about how research has indicated that raising a child with a disability can sometimes cause strain on a marriage due to stress and constant needs of the child. I asked the mother if she felt this way and if her marriage had been affected by raising a child with Down syndrome. Her response was, “It has made our marriage/family stronger in many ways – you really appreciate things much more.  We are blessed with 4 unique, special children”. Her response was uplifting, because many people assume that raising a child with a disability is a burden to parents. In reality, they wish what’s best for their child, just as every parent does.

We also, discussed support systems of the family. Extended family has always been an important source of support for XXXX’s family, “Our family has always provided great support… aunts, uncles, grandparents, and cousins have always accepted XXXX for who he is and have treated him like everybody else”.  XXXX’s mother went on to mention their family’s network of friends who have always been there in times of need and care. She said how blessed and thankful she was for her friends to accept her son no differently than anyone else. “Friends and family are the greatest gift I can give my son and I will forever appreciate the strength, love, and support, which they have given me”.

Discussing with the mother about her son, her family, and her support systems helped me to understand where she was coming from. Genuine and heartfelt conversations are what help a teacher to build trust and a relationship with the child’s family. At this point in the conversation we had not even discussed anything related to the child’s educational experience, yet I was starting to feel a sense of comfort and trust from the child’s mother.  Building comfort and establishing honest communication is essential for building a relationship between a teacher, child, and parents.  “Relative to parent/family and professional relationships, trust is the foundation on which emotional and psychological support programs are based. Indeed, little is accomplished in the absence of trust, and emotional and psychological assistance, collaboration, and partnerships will be dependent on trust-based relationships and interactions” (C. Fiedler, R. Simpson, and D. Clark, 2007).

Eventually, we did discuss the child and family’s history of school experiences. I asked XXXX’s mother to describe her relationship with teachers and professionals at school: “For the most part the teachers and staff have been very accepting of XXXX.  There are times when you have someone that just does not understand children who have special needs and are not as flexible or as willing to modify teaching styles.  XXXX is very capable of being in the regular classroom. He is able to take in everything auditory and only struggles with his fine motor skills.  Most teachers are very good at adapting work to fit his strengths and needs”. Afterwards, I could not help but to think that as an educator and professional, the role is to empower children and families. Furthermore, as a teacher we must reach out and accommodate to the needs of our students and should never expect a child to adapt to instruction.

We then discussed how the school meets and accommodates to the needs of her child. XXXX’s mother shared, “For the most part.  XXXX does not fit into any one mold though since he is very high functioning.  It has been a challenge to find the right mix of regular classes and special education classes”. She went on to add that through the help and support of multiple staff members, they have been able to find a balance of classes for her son. Unfortunately, there has been an occasion where XXXX’s needs were not met due to a lack of understanding from staff. XXXX’s mother explained how a teacher and her son would become frustrated and unable to work with one another, so she removed her child from the situation. When working with any child, with or without a disability, a teacher should never make a child feel frustrated. On a more positive note, XXXX’s mother shared with me a teacher who had made a difference in her son’s life:

“XXXX has been so fortunate to have had so many loving, caring teachers

starting in pre-school and up until now.  He relates so well to those are willing to take the time to get to know him and take a genuine interest in him.  He is so keen with picking up on who is comfortable with him and tends to gravitate towards them.  Simple things like gearing work towards his interests of family or sports have been key.  Also making work manageable and breaking in down into achievable goals.  Being able to find the right mix of fun and firm has been key”.

Next, I asked XXXX’s mother how she made certain that her son’s needs were being met. She stressed the importance of communication, “Communication is vital.  I try to meet with his case manager at least once a month and we email almost daily.  She is excellent at keeping me informed and heading off any potential problems/miscommunications”. Establishing open communication is vital for all parents. According to C. Fiedler, R. Simpson, and D. Clark (2007), “while the content of interactions between professionals and families cannot be discounted, neither can the listening and communication process itself. Commenting on this importance, a variety of authorities have observed that the technical information provided by professionals, may be secondary to the listening and communication process itself”. Furthermore, educators and professionals should recognize the communication process as not only an opportunity to attend to and learn from parents and family members, but also a key means of showing interest and conveying emotional and psychological support (C. Fiedler, R. Simpson, and D. Clark, 2007).

In closing, XXXX’s mother shared with me her hopes and dreams for her child’s future, “Our hopes and goals for XXXX is to one day be able to live independently and to have a job doing something he loves – most likely something related to sports and coaching.  He has great value to contribute to society”. She went on to explain that having a child with a disability is no better or worse, just different; and they should be loved and treated the same. I will hold on to this piece of advice and apply her words as actions in my classroom- treating all children the same no matter what their differences may be. Establishing relationships with all parents built on trust and having open communication will by my goal for all children and their families, with or without a disability.